In reading one of the daily blogs that I keep up with, I was reminded that since a big reason I do this blog is so that my kids can look back at this and have information for themselves on our family.
I have posted many times about my kids, but I have never shared the story of my other kids- Jacob and Jordan.
Mark and I wanted to have kids soon after getting married because I just had this nagging feeling that I would have problems getting pregnant. To my delight, I got pregnant very quickly about 6 months after we got married. The pregnancy was a delight- I never felt better in my life and I loved being pregnant! Nick was born without incident and our lives went on. When he was about 20 months we decided to try again. Well we tried but no success. After 1 year of trying we ended up going through the whole infertility process. They had no reasons for our difficulty and we went through some of the processess they recommended. I ended up getting pregnant twice and both of those pregnancies I miscarried soon into the pregnancy.
We both decided to take a break from the fertility treatments and just not do anything for awhile. To our delight we got pregnant on our own. We were so very excited. I was considered high risk due to my history so they kept a close eye on this pregnancy. They did an ultrasound to check the pregnancy and while we were sitting in the room, The tech just showed us the heartbeat and Mark looked at the screen and said but what's that then? The tech said "oh" and went to get the Dr. The Dr. came in and informed us we were having twins! Well, I had kind of expected that when we were on fertility treatments but this was all on our own. I was shocked to say the least! About 10 weeks into the pregnancy Mark was on a fishing tournament with work and my parents took Me and Nick to a chicken bbq for supper. I went to the bathroom there and found out I was bleeding. I pretty much lost it and my parents quickly drove home and I went to my sisters house. She was gone but I knew she would be back soon. I called the Dr. and they had me come to the emergency room. I was in a panic- I couldn't get ahold of Mark-thank goodness a good friend came with me to the hospital. We got there and they told me they thought I had a bladder infection and the babies were ok, but they wanted me to go on bedrest.
Well I did, but that was very difficult with a little boy at home. The pregnancy was very difficult. The funny thing was I would get sick every other day- it was like 1 baby was making me sick and the other wasn't! Even after the morning sickness passed, I just wasn't feeling well. I couldn't explain it- I just didn't feel good!
At 20 weeks Mark had to go away for the night on a Friday night so the plan was for me to spend the night at my sisters house. I didn't make it that far. My water broke that morning. I called Mari in a panic again and we called the ambulance. Contractions began immediately and went until we got to the hospital. They gave me something to slow them down. Thank goodness this happened in the morning, Mark was still around so he came to the hospital along with both of my sisters. Contractions finally ended and the specialty Dr's came in to talk to us about our options. They said the babies were under great stress and that we could try to not deliver them but the risk was great of infection and danger to me or we could deliver them now, but they would not live. Well we were so thankful that God took that decision out of our hands and I went back into labor on my own. Mark and my sisters were my rocks as I went through labor for something that wasn't going to have a positive ending.
My babies were born stillborn. We named them Jacob and Jordan. It amazed me that even though they were very small, Jordan looked like Nick. I have their footprints and pictures that I will treasure forever. The twins would have been 10 this past June! This was the most painful thing I have ever gone through, however God had a plan for our lives. After this event, we both decided at different times that adoption was something we were interested in and when we brought the topic up to each other it was funny when we both said that we had been thinking about it.
If we hadn't lost the boys we wouldn't have our girls. Not that one is better than the other. I'm glad God is in control of our path and we don't have to decide what our life will be. I will see my boys again in heaven and then I will get to hold all my children again- all 7 of them!